Everything's changed... Again! lol.

Life is always changing... Becoming something new and different than what it used to be.

Around 3 1/2 years ago, I walked onto the campus of USC-Upstate knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to meet a great guy, get married, have a family, and teach in my hometown of York, SC. I couldn't wait to have my own classroom and teach students Spanish.

And then one day, I found myself on an airplane with several friend headed to Central Asia. God was so good to provide a way for me to get there, and I literally couldn't believe His kindness to me. But still... That was going to be a one-time thing. One missions trip. And I'd be back in SC where I "belonged."

But there was a problem.

I fell in love.

Not with one person, but with a group of people, a group of languages, a culture so different from my own.

And I began to realize, though I fought it, that God had more in mind for me than 75 high school students a day. I wanted to stay and be a South Carolina girl... Carolina Born and Bred, buried under Carolina soil on the day I died... Everything.

But through His work in my life, I've become more and more dissatisfied with the idea of that life. I don't want to settle for less than everything God has called me to. I can't. I won't. I never want to.

So here I am, wanting to do more with my life than I could possibly have years for. And wondering what God's gonna use it for first.

Strange that I write this from my classroom, where I thought I'd be so happy... Where I thought I'd find my calling... And maybe, in a way, I did... I found that, though I love my students and wish them the best, this is not the place for me. My calling is leading me elsewhere. And that's OK.

So in closing, I leave you with a line from a song that's been on my heart a lot lately as I've struggled through some painful things, including the realization that my pretty little life plan isn't what God had in mind:

You stay the same through the ages.
Your love never changes.
There may be pain in the night,
But joy comes in the morning.

And when the oceans rage,
I don't have to be afraid,
Because I know that You love me
And Your love never fails.

The wind is strong and the water's deep,
But I'm not alone here in these open seas,
Cuz Your love never fails.

The chasm was far too wide.
I never thought I'd reach the other side.
But Your love never fails.