All Things New...

Wow. After praying in the New Year, I'm patiently waiting on a friend who is having a pretty important conversation. In the meantime, my loverly Miss Andrea Heaton is joining me in the lobby of the Sheraton Four Seasons in Greensboro, NC.

So, like many people, New Year's makes me reflect on the past year and muse about the future.

First, some of the best and worst of the past year:

• Passing Dr. Carter's class.
• Making a ton of new friends.
• The Insomniacs Club
• Receiving a calling!
• Having to take the uber tough classes.
• The family issues

What do I think will happen next year? At this point... I'm not sure. I know I'm gonna bend over backward to do better in Carter's class.

Other than that, I'll just wait and see. That's cool with me!

Happy New Year!

Always learning...

Yes, I am making another list. Deal. lol.

1. It's funny how a day seems like a year when you're missing people you love.
2. It really is amazing how much difference a semester can make in your life. From friends to family to your frickin' GPA, a lot can change. lol.
3. Singing with people is a HUGE addiction of mine. It can make anything better.
4. It's interesting that, even when I don't see people for a long time, I can see them again, and nothing's changed.
5. Some people will do whatever they can to cause drama, if for no other reason than their own entertainment. Those people deserve to be shot. lol.
6. I can't wait to travel again. I miss Central Asia so much, but I'm going to Spain next. Someday, I hope to at least pay another visit to C. Asia, and the people I left there... I miss them more than words can express.
7. Sometimes, I wonder why God keeps giving me second chances. I screw up a lot, I hurt the people I love, I react out of anger instead of wisdom, and I say things I don't mean. But he loves me just the same. Wow.
8. I wish I knew what to say sometimes to save the ones I love from themselves.
9. Life isn't always beautiful, but I thank God for every day I wake up. Even the bad days.
10. God can make something beautiful out of my most stupid mistakes, and the most painful, hurtful things imaginable.
11. I love my 6th and 7th grade youth girls, no matter what. :)
12. I could not, would not, and would never want to do Matt Lyda's job.
13. I thank God for the call he placed on my life to ministry. I can't wait to see where it leads me. :D

The ramblings of an insomniac...

More valuable lessons in the life of me...

1. Sometimes, no matter how much you prepare for something, you won't do well, and you just have to accept it and move on.
2. Sometimes, the very people you thought you didn't like can be some of the best friends you'll ever have.
3. Sometimes, you have to make a choice, and that choice can hurt more than you'd ever imagine, and you have to live with it.
4. 1 Corinthians 10:12
5. Love makes a person do some stupid things, but it is a wonderful thing. Its great to love and to be loved.
6. Sleep is highly overrated.
7. Being sick is increased by the belief stated in #6. lol.
8. I'm slowly but surely learning to take what people say at face value and not dig deeper when it's not necessary.
9. I wish sometimes that I could make everything better for the people that I love.
10. Unfortunately, sometimes, those people that I love make really bad decisions, and I can't fix it.
11. I love being with people who make me laugh. Those are the very best kinds of people.
12. I love helping, but I have a very hard time when people take advantage of that.
13. I hate to study, and sometimes, I need a little extra push in the right direction. lol.
14. When I don't know what to say, and can't express myself in words anymore, music does it for me in an amazing way.
15. I love teaching and seeing people learn, but sometimes, I wonder if I'll be a good teacher.
16. I can't wait to go home for Christmas, but I am going to miss the people here at school so much it won't even be funny.
17. Sometimes, just when you think you're done for, you get up again, with one more round left in ya.
18. Sometimes, you still get knocked down, but that one round becomes two, and three, and four...
19. One day, we will all understand better that things work out for the best.
20. Never be afraid to let go. Sometimes, it's the best decision you'll ever make.

Oh, the Thinks I Can Think (when sick and medicated)

I like the list format, so here we go...

1. It's very weird to realize that your best friend from childhood is married. Like, really, really, weird. Not bad. Just odd.
2. It's much easier when she marries a good guy. :)
3. I have the plague again. It's kinda yucky, and I just wanna sleep. Fabulous for the last week of class and the 5.2 billion papers I have due, right?
4. The fact that anything and everything can trigger a song in my head makes me very happy sometimes.
5. I really have a hard time with things when people tell me not to tell someone something that he or she really needs to know.
6. I want to go home. School is no fun.
7. When I grow up, I want to be a fun teacher.
8. I'm not a grownup yet. I really want to be, but sometimes, I'm not. And I never want to lose the childlike ways inside of me.
9. I love being with my friends so much.
10. Sometimes I wonder what tomorrow will hold. But I remind myself that Jesus said today has enough trouble of its own. :)

Later. :)

Best College Memory Ever? Could very well be

So, here's the deal...

1. I can't write papers in my apartment anymore. I get stir crazy, and writers block attacks.
2. I have awesome friends who let me write papers in their apartments.
3. I have awesome friends who join me at the other awesome friends apartments.
4. Two of the aforementioned friends also had school work to do, while the other friend hung out.
5. We like McDonalds.
6. We sat there, talking of random things for hours.
7. The later it gets, the more chance there is of random Facebook group creation.
8. Next thing we know, it's 6 AM.
9. Denny's anyone?
10. Apparently, in the eyes of the backseat driver, no one can drive. No one.
11. Denny's is good.
12. I can't back a Rodeo out of a parking place. This tends to be normal for those of us who drive Cavaliers.
13. Apparently, not being able to back a Rodeo out of a parking place is grounds for being yelled at and having one's driving privileges revoked.
14. Don't argue with awesome. At 7:00ish, you can see the sunrise, and that's just cool. Although sometimes, you're so tired it doesn't matter.
15. It's funny to call your dad and tell him you're going to bed when he's been at work for a few hours. He will probably say something funny. lol.
16. The end.

My Prowless is Getting Better...

I only had one kid at Hope Point last night... And either he was trying to be nice, or I was doing better than before...

We played soccer... ish, and I did pretty well.

Then he taught me how to play foursquare, even though we only had 2 people, and that was really fun, too.

And in the end, I felt somewhat better about myself. :)

That is a good feeling.

Valuable lesson's I've learned...

1. Staying up til 3 doesn't work very well when you have an early class, so you should probably get your work done before then.

2. If you play Movie Scene It with Matt Davidson, he will win. So just go ahead and be ready.

3. Catchphrase becomes really, really funny the more tired everyone involved is.

4. Study for Astronomy tests. Like, for real. STUDY.

5. Choir is the most awesome thing ever, and 2nd Soprano parts are fun.

6. Basses are awesome, too. Like, really awesome. Any person whose voice can do that is OK by me.

7. Choir is even more fun with instrumentalists. They rock my socks.

8. Hearing from old friends is lots of fun. Especially ones you haven't seen in a long time.

9. It's really nice to be wanted. Even if just for a hug or a minute with a friend. It's really, really nice.

10. God is still stronger and more powerful than anything, and He still loves people more deeply and powerfully than I ever could.

11. Pepsi with Lemon isn't bad. However, water is way better, and once you start drinking it, it's hard to drink other stuff. They just don't quench the thirst anymore.

12. Sleep is very, very good.

13. My mom is the best lady ever to walk the earth. Don't argue. She is. You will lose.

14. Life isn't always fun, but it is always good.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours, and Luke 13

So, as usual, it's music that speaks to my soul. I truly believe that God uses music sometimes to make words more powerful to me, probably because of my love for music...

But not too long ago, as I was singing "Hosanna," the words "Break my heart for what breaks yours" rang out in my heart in a way that absolutely shocked me. I didn't realize, however, how much it would hurt when God started to do just that. He brought friends into my life who have no idea who God really is, and how deeply He loves them. Friends with very different views of what it means to belong to Christ and be truly a child of God. But that doesn't change the fact that I love those friends. And the more I started to think about it, the more it truly broke my heart to know that there are people, many people, really, who don't know the beauty of salvation through Christ. And I could just imagine Jesus looking at these people whom He loves more than I ever could and saying as he did in Luke, looking at Jerusalem, "How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" Because our God is a God who gives people free will. He won't force himself on people. But He loves them so much, and His heart is broken when they don't choose Him, because He knows that He is the best they can have.

I have this book called "The Valley of Vision," a book of Puritan prayers... and while the Puritans aren't always known for being fun or exciting, they are known for close fellowship with God and for being very in touch with his heart... And this particular prayer truly echos the cry of my heart.

God's Cause
Sovereign God,
Thy cause, not my own, engages my heart,
and I appeal to thee with greatest freedom
to set up thy kingdom in every place where Satan reigns;
Glorify thyself and I shall rejoice,for to bring honour to thy name is my sole desire.
I adore thee that thou art God,
and long that others should know it, feel it,and rejoice in it.
O that all men might love and praise thee,
that thou mightest have all glory from the intelligent world!
Let sinners be brought to thee for thy dear name!
To the eye of reason everything respecting the conversion of others is as dark as midnight,
But thou canst accomplish great things;the cause is thine,
and it is to thy glory that men should be saved.
Lord, use me as thou wilt,do with me what thou wilt;
but, O, promote thy cause,
let thy kingdom come,
let thy blessed interest be advanced in this world!
O do thou bring in great numbers to Jesus!
let me see that glorious day,
and give me to grasp for multitudes of souls;
let me be willing to die to that end;
and while I live let me labour for thee
to the utmost of my strength,
spending time profitably in this work,
both in health and in weakness.
It is thy cause and kingdom I long for, not my own.
O, answer thou my request!

My Athletic Prowless... That's right... ProwLess.

Tonight, I got to hang out with the little kids instead of the youth kids, because Matt requested my assistance. It was so cool, b/c I had 5 boys, all extremely hilarious, and lots of fun. I truly enjoyed myself. They were great.

But, I learned something very valuable about myself during the time of fun and games with those fellas. And that, my friends, is that I am incredibly out of shape. INCREDIBLY out of shape.

How did I come upon this deep knowledge?

Oh, my... It was quite the journey to discovery for me.

Well, the kids wanted to play Hide and Seek. I straight up got tagged by an 11-year-old. Yes. I hung my head in shame.

But that was only the beginning. A lively game of freeze tag on the playground ensued. Which was fine as long as I was "supervising" (which is apparently, old person talk for, "I'm too old to run."), but then the guys were like, "You be it!" And, I, of course, hoping to prove my lack of oldness, decided to take them up on it. I failed. I only proved that, not only am I old... I'm also slow and sluggish. lol. I sucked at Freeze Tag.

So on to better things... Like, going inside after the parents were done, and hanging out for a bit... All fun... Until a 2 kids under 11 decided it would be fun to play monkey in the middle... with me in the middle. Should be easy enough, right? They're half my age, and approximately half my height. How hard could it be?

Really

Really

Ridiculously

HARD.

Those kids kicked my butt at Monkey in the Middle. Kicked my butt!

I don't know which was worse... Actually being beaten by the kids, or being told by Josh Ridings... Famous Hope Point and various other ministries wide for his worship music... that I had indeed hit rock bottom. I mean, knowing it myself was tough... But... Dude... Josh cut me deep.

lol.

I'm not sure they pay me enough to console me in the crushing of my pride. lol.

But, honestly, it was so much fun, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. And now, I'm gonna go get some much needed sleep. Because old people need their sleep.

First, I should probably watch the news, tell a 2 hour long story about back when I was a girl, and take my arthritis and osteoporosis meds... Then I need to clean my bifocals and grease the wheel on my walker... There's so much to do when you're old.

Anybody know how to play bridge?

HE WON!

Dale Jr. won at Michigan!

That's right. To the haters out there, you've been proven wrong again!

GO, 88, GO!!!!!!

I want my car back!!

Yeah. I dropped my car off to be aligned and get new tires yesterday. I promised her I'd come pick her up later on that day, hoping that the tire fixer/aligner people would get their work done quickly so that I could come collect that ugly, but mostly reliable, piece of machinery that has been through so much with me. Mostly because of me, honestly... A few too many wrecks.

But alas, I had to break my promise because the people didn't call me to tell me if she was all done or not.

So my dad was going to take me to pick her up today, when he remembered. The tire place is closed on Tuesdays. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is particularly problematic because I have to go to work at 6:15 in the morning, and no one in my family loves me that much. lol. Just kidding. They could take me, but my sister was going to hang out with her friend in Rock Hill tomorrow, and I work in Lake Wiley. My parentals were going to be at work. Dad in Rock Hill, Mom here in Y-town. Oh, noes!

That is a major problem. MAJOR problem.

Then, Dad conveniently remembered his truck that he never drives because it guzzles gas. Oh, boy! I get to drive the gas hog tomorrow. Oh, boy. He won't let me drive his care, because, well, I have no knowledge of the world of stick shifts. :(

Anyways, Sunday, Jules and I saw Indy. It was good, but not quite what I'd expected. Shia LeBeouf was surprisingly good in it, and Harrison Ford, as usual, kicked butt. However, for a classic Indy lover, it was not the greatest of all Indy movies. That honor, I think, belongs to "The Last Crusade." At least, I think so.

Then we went to Broadcast, where I sat in on Bess's small group, which was amazing. I can't wait to see how I can get more plugged in with them!

Anywho. Yesterday, we played Clue for a long time. Darn that Colonel Mustard. lol. It was really fun, and then we went to the $1.50 movie theater with my mom and saw "Meet the Browns." Once again, Tyler Perry didn't disappoint me. Drama, comedy, and Madea. What else do you need?

So... I might be going to the movies again on Saturday with some of my friends from my church here in Y-town, so yeah... Any suggestions of what I should see?

Probably not, but that's OK. lol. :)

Now I'm jamming out to Switchfoot. Can I get a heck yes?

This post has been brought to you by the letter I and J and the number 2i. Get real. :D

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed Be Your Name
By Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Wow. Yet another awesome song we sang at Hope Point this morning. :D

This song was prefaced by Richard's sermon, which was entitled Crying With Hope. If you don't go to Hope Point, I'd suggest you go check that sermon out at www.hopepoint.org.

Anyways... The concept behind it was glorifying God despite utter suffering and pain. (Text was Ps. 31:1-5. Awesome awesome Psalm). And, honestly, I have to say that this has been one of my most intense struggles. If you didn't know, my family has been through a lot this past year, and my parents will be divorced by this weekend. Yeah. And that got me thinking...

In the Psalm Richard used, David asked God to be his Rock and his Strong Fortress. And as I look back, I realize how many times I used my family as my rock. When I was in trouble, disoriented, afraid, I could always find my way back to where I wanted to be by relying on my family. I realize now that this was making my family an idol.

But anyway... How difficult is it to make this song true of our lives? In either circumstance, really...

When we're having hard times, it's hard to praise God. We want to blame Him for our pain. And when I say that, it sounds silly. Ridiculous, honestly. Why on EARTH would we place blame with the One who loves us more than anyone else ever could? It's so easy to be ridiculous, it seems. Why on earth do the things that honestly make the most sense seem so difficult to swallow?

But it's also really hard "when the world's all as it should be" to give God the praise and glory. We kind of settle into our complacency, not realizing that our need for God is just as great in our joy as in our sorrow. It's easiest for me to worship God at the end of a major struggle. But once all is well and good again, I go back to, "I'm OK."

And I'm not.

I'm never OK.

None of us is ever OK.

I long for a day when my pain and sorrow as well as my joy and dancing will both be covered in the words, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Yeah. Sweet.

In my heart and my soul, I give You control...

From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
album: United We Stand (2006)

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you
control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above
all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you
control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You
praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

So, yeah... we sang that one at Hope Point this past Sunday. Johnny sang it, by the way, which was awesome, b/c I don't know if I've ever paid attention to his voice before, since he usually sings harmony parts and stuff. His voice is awesome. Seriously awesome.

Anyways, this song to me is an amazing prayer... And when I sing it, I feel like I can't get close enough to heaven... I just wanna raise my hands and jump and... it feels like my heart is going to burst from the joy of knowing that God is so flipping amazing. Basically, it's like Josh said right after we sang it... I just wanna jump out of my shoes! I was talking to my dad last night about how God forgives sin no matter what it may be. But as I sat there, all I could think of was that not only is He a forgiver, He is everything. There are so many facets to his personality that I will NEVER know him fully. and that's OK. I'm not meant to. As Larry and I discussed at some point, if we ever fully knew God, we would be destroyed. Not even a man like Moses, one of the OT "heavyweights" was allowed to see God in all His glory and splendor. It would have killed him on the spot! What makes us think that we deserve to see all of that glory more than Moses did?

But the deep desire to be known and consumed from the inside out by someone else... What a beautiful picture of love? To really know every single thing about a person, and love them despite their worst mistakes and deepest sins is a beautiful love. It's also a beautiful vulnerability to ask someone to know you that deeply. And to ask God is even better, because you are being vulnerable with someone who loves you more than anything and will NEVER hurt you. Pretty sweet, huh?

Another part that never fails to get to me... "Your will above all else./My purpose remains/The art of losing myself/In bringing You praise." It reminds me of Central Asia and how we learned just how important dying to self is to our acts of worship and love of our Creator and our brothers and sisters. I want to be so purposeful. I want my life to be about losing myself in bringing praise to the God Who made me and loves me more than anything. How awesome would that be to finally come to a place where I don't care anymore about my desires or what I "want" so much as being totally wrapped up and lost in the glory and praise of God? How freakin' incredible? It's so difficult to wrap my mind around. It's so much easier just to do the things that I want to do... To goof around on Facebook for hours, or to watch TV, or to catch those few extra hours of sleep. Why can I not find that desire in my heart? I want to want it. That's something else I've discussed with friends lately. I want to want to do the right thing. But I don't. Oh, for the grace of God to want what's right instead of only to want to want it. (Did that confuse you? I think it confused me.)

This song brings me to a lot of things, but the greatest is that concept... What God is... Who God is... Saweet.

• God is the ultimate Father... He will never leave or forsake His children. He disciplines them when necessary, but only out of deepest love and concern for their well being. He never treats them as stupid, but as beloved in His sight. The apple of His eye.
• God (Jesus) is the ultimate Big Brother. He never picks on His little brothers and sisters, but rescues them from trouble of their own making, and dies to keep them from suffering.
• God is the ultimate Lover. He knows us deeply, intimately, personally, in such a private way that even an earthly husband or wife could never know us that deeply. I don't know how that is for guys to think of God that way. I mean, it's kind of odd, I guess, since Jesus was a man and all. But at least, for me as a woman, it's amazing to think of someone who knows me like that and loves me no matter what!
• God is the ultimate Hero. He rescues us from the pits of our own sin, the great monsters/villains of life. He flies in, like a Super-Superman, and rescues us. Added bonus? With God as your superhero, there is no tragic/whatever flaw... There is no Kryptonite that renders Him helpless. There is no weakness. Pretty sweet.
• God is the ultimate King. There was a time when being King meant you could do whatever you wanted to without worry of being challenged. Think Henry VIII cutting off his wives' heads left and right. Punk. But anyway. This is not the kind of monarchy that they have in England now. God is no figurehead. He is the ruler of the universe. He answers to no one, and everyone will one day answer to Him. But the beauty is that He uses this unlimited power to become a man and die for the poorest of the poor, the dirtiest of the dirty, the most sinful of the sinners. Us. We are those people. He died to make us into saints. I can't even imagine that. But He still rules the world. He parts seas, He calms storms... Nothing is beyond His hand of control. And that, my friends, is amazing.

So in the end, I am again amazed by the God I serve. Yay for worship music reminding me just how awesome and great He really is. How incredible He is, and how beautiful it is to be known, loved, consumed and controlled by the most amazing God EVER!

I've loved you since the first time I laid my eye on you...

Lol. Gotta love SpongeBob. Good cartoon.

Anywho, so, I've now been home for 3 1/2 ish days. It's been interesting. I am glad to be here, but at the same time, it's a little weird.

When I got home on Sunday, after church/hanging out with Roxie, I hung out with my mom and sis for a bit, then went over to Jerica's. We went to her church's family fun night. I was also pleased/amused to hear that Kirby called Kyle Busch stupid in his sermon on Sunday. :D Too bad I missed it, but it was awesome to go to Hope Point, as always. Anywho, so yeah... Kirby is pretty cool. Any race fans who want to hear Kirby call Kyle Busch stupid, just go to http://www.rrbc.com/ and d/l this week's sermon.

I've seen Jerica every day since I came home. lol.

Monday, I had lunch with my mommy, and chilled around the house most of the day before going to eat dinner with Jerica at Zaxby's, joined by Jami and Nina, her sister and cousin. Twas fun. We went to their softball game, where Jerica, much to our shock and disbelief, hit the ball, made it to base, and didn't duck while she was running. lol.

Yesterday, I worked my first shift at my new store, and it wasn't too bad. I'm still getting used to it, but I kind of enjoyed it. I worked with a really nice shift, and it was not bad at all. Then, I went to my mom's work, ate dinner with her (Zaxby's again. Go figure) and went swimming with Jerica. We played volleyball, Colors, and Truth or Dare. I felt like I was in middle school again. And she def. asks hard questions. lol. And on colors, we switched the category to NASCAR drivers, and she picked freakin' Patrick Carpentier. Who the heck would guess him? I got dunked an ungodly number of times, and finally guessed, only when given the race team and the number (and still missed once). lol. She said 10, I went a year behind and guessed Riggs. lol. Blast. She's a mean mean little monkey.

Today, I went swimming again, after eating dinner (that's lunch to you Yankee's who don't know... Supper's what y'all call dinner. ;D) with my daddy and Chase in Rock Hill.

And now, I'm this wonderful lobster-like shade of red. Red is, you know, my favorite color, and perhaps the very best color of all. However, it does not suit skin very well. And I have a stupid line, because my bathing suit strap crosses over in back. Ew.

Well, anywho... So, I watched the movie "The Ultimate Gift" again, and it made me cry. So freakin' good. Go watch it. No excuses. No later. Just go watch it. Right now. Like, stop reading this, and drive to Blockbuster/Movie Gallery/Hollywood Movies/Videos to Go/your local video rental store of choice, and RENT THE FREAKIN MOVIE! GOSH!

Speaking of that, it made me giggle when I was looking at the Fight Club app on Facebook, since your fighter can be a sensei. "Bow to your Sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!" Geez. Good times.

Anywho. So, I'm very bored now. 'Bout to go to town and replace the chain for the necklace my daddy gave me...

Hopefully later I'll do another song thingie like I did for "Beautiful Scandalous Night" Don't know if anyone cares, but OK. lol.

Later, kids.

Until next time, eat your veggies, don't talk to strangers, and look both ways before crossing the street.

This blog was brought to you by the letters A and Q and the number π.

Peace.

I'm going home, to the place where I belong...

It's my last night in Sparkle City for the summer. Then, I'm going home. And I find myself wondering if York really is the place where I belong anymore. I feel right here in Spartanburg. Home... York... Feels like the place I visit. Not the place I live. When I pull off off the interstate in Sparkle City, I feel like I'm almost home. But when I get to my road in Y-town, I feel like I'm almost to my mom's house.

Is that weird?

I don't know.

Right now, I'm spending the night with Roxie, and Boone is crunching food, despite the fact that it's 12:30, and silly kitty should be sleeping. lol.

But anywho...

It really was hard saying bye to Megan when she left with her bearded man today. I mean, really really hard. But I'm happy for her. She deserves some time away.

Much to my shock and disbelief, I not only passed stats, but made an A in the course. Sweet fancy Moses! I'm in shock.

Tomorrow, Roxie is gonna go to Hope Point with me, where I've been told by a little bird (or a regular sized Josh) that we will be singing "From the Inside Out" much to my joy and happiness.

Anywho.

I need to go to sleep and stop rambling. As Boone continues crunching and munching. And stuff. lol.

Buenas noches, Sparkle City.

Of being up too early...

Let me commence this tale at its beginning...

I went to bed way too late Tuesday night, and woke up at 8 so I could shower and go to class. Once in class, I proceeded to bomb my stats test, and left. I went to Wally World to buy a new transmitter cord for my iPod in my car.

Then, I went to Mallory and JP's to meet Roxie and head over to G-vegas to try on my dress so I can be all bridesmaid-ish. :) Fun times! We went all over Greenville, trying on my dress, then shopping at Old Navy, then off to her apartment, then Ingles to pick up her check. I saw random random parts of G-ville, and ended up with very cute clothes. :D My dress is gorgeous by the way. I'm just waiting for it to come now.

Anywho, once we got back to Mallory and JP's, I played with Boone and Lucy for a bit, before I sat down on the couch. Once I sat down, I started dozing off. So Roxie made me go get food, and she went to Wal-Mart. Yes, mommy. lol. So, off I went to eat a super-late lunch at Chick-fil-a. By the way, the guy who waited on me was by far the least friendly Chick-fil-a employee I've ever met. I tried to be super nice to him. Didn't work. He was still grumpy.

After Chick-fil-a, I came back to my apartment, and got on Facebook. I talked to a few people (mainly RoFo, but also both Joshes and Peter) for a bit, and then I decided to take a nap.

This was at 6:30 pm, mind you, so I had no intentions of sleeping past 8, at which point, I was planning to get up and do laundry.

Joanna called around 8, and I heard it, but didn't answer, thinking I'd be up soon anyway, and I'd just call her back. But alas. No such luck. It really stinks, too, because I think we were probably going to watch Sweeny Todd, which I haven't seen yet. :( It would have been fun.

Anyway, I finally woke up at 5 minutes till 3, and that was evilness incarnate. My first thought was to call Jo back, but I decided it would not be nice after I realized it was 3 am.

I laid back down and tossed and turned a while before deciding I'd go ahead and do my laundry. Then, I left my friends very random Facebook comments, and now, here I am.

2 hours later.

And I'm still up.

That's right. I am STILL awake.

But I'm going to class at 9, then to lunch and Plato's Closet with Megan later on! Fun times!!!

Might play poker with Jeff and B later, too... Just don't know yet.

So, yeah. My stupid sleep cycle. You had to wake me up at 3, huh?

Guess I could always be a weirdo and go to Sbux when we open and get coffee, right? And food! Cuz I've been up 2 hours without food. That's going to have to change soon. I have a rumbly in my tumbly that would put Pooh Bear to shame.

OK. That's all.

Peace up, A-town down, Y-town up! :)

Of pooches and dumb Keanu Reeves movies...

So, here I sit, watching some horrible (go figure) Keanu Reeves movie, while Megan struggles with Harley, who is snarling, and hating being held... And Nikki sits there threateningly with a newspaper. :)

I had a great last day of work at the Sbux here. Got to work with Kathy, Jeff, and Kirky... It was great.

And no more Sparkle City Sbux for 2 1/2 ish months.

Sa-weet!!!!!!

Then, I hung out with Larry for about 4 hours. It was great seeing him! :)

Yay for friends and good days.

However, after my test at 9, it might not be so good...

Until I'm shopping with Roxie for my bridesmaid's dress. :)

La-dee-da. :P

So, yeah. I really shouldn't have talked yesterday about how Dale Jr. was kicking Kasey Kahne's butt.

Came back to bite me.

And Jerica made sure I knew it.

But still, Kahne couldn't have pulled a top 5 finish out like Jr. did after the night he had.

So I stand behind my assertion that Jr. is the better driver of the two.

And Kyle Busch, is, as usual, a punk.

And the hardest thing to swallow was that both Kahne and Gordon were ahead of Jr. Which means both Jerica and her Dad were giving me crap.

At least I had Roxie there, and talked to my dad later. :)

MMMMMMK.

Now that I've bored all the millions of people who read my blog with this amazing sport known as NASCAR, I shall go.

Wait, what? Beautiful and scandalous... Can we say that?

First off, I'm going to post the lyrics to an incredible song...

Go on up to the mountain of mercy,
To the crimson perpetual tide.
Kneel down on the shore,
Be thirsty no more,
Go under and be purified.

Follow Christ to the holy mountain,
Sinner, sorry and wrecked by the fall.
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flowed
For you and for me and for all.

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree,
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night.

On the hillside, you will be delivered,
At the foot of the cross justified,
Your spirit restored
By the river that poured
From our blessed Savior's side.

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree,
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night.

Go on up to the mountain of mercy,
To the crimson perpetual tide.
Kneel down on the shore,
Be thirsty no more,
Go under and be purified.

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree,
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night.

(Robbie Seay Band,
© Whenever it was published ;D)

Anyway... I've heard this song many times... It's one of my favorites. And it's always seemed so awesome and so passionate... I understood what it meant in a way... Sort of a different take on Christ's death, but still, very true. But yesterday, at Hope Point, after the band finished playing/singing it, Richard started talking about it, getting at the meanings of the words beautiful and scandalous.

And that got me thinking...

First off, disclaimer, if you didn't know, I'm a foreign language concentration (Secondary Ed-Spanish to be exact) and so, words, language, etc., holds a great deal of interest for me...

So, what exactly do the words beautiful and scandalous mean, and why do they apply to the death of Christ?

I think the word Scandalous really stands out to me, so let's do that one first, because I'm the kind of girl that eats desert first. I hate waiting for my favorite part of movies, etc. So, yeah. Scandalous first, because I said so. lol.

For this defining deal, I'm going to refer to my good friend, the handy-dandy dictionary.com.

Scandalous:

disgraceful; shameful or shocking; improper

also...

giving offense to moral sensibilities and injurious to reputation

So, yeah. The death of Christ... How does that fit together?

Disgraceful... It was the climax of human sin and depravity. Killing the only holy One who ever lived. Shameful... Christ suffered for all to see, in a way that caused ultimate shame. Imagine being slaughtered in front of your family and friends almost naked and hung up high for everyone to see. That's what Jesus did. That's how He died. Improper... No joke. This was a death reserved for criminals of the basest kind. This is not the kind of death one would expect for the Son of God Almighty, who'd just lived 33 years of absolute perfection. Giving offense to moral sensibilities... If moral sensibilities had come into play. The sad fact is that people were cheering, yelling, spitting on Him. "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" When given the choice between Jesus and a terrifying bloodthirsty criminal, the wanted Jesus to die. If that doesn't offend one's sense of right and wrong, I don't know what will. Injurious to reputation... Well, honestly, when you saw someone die on a cross in the Roman Empire, I seriously doubt you thought, "That poor guy was probably innocent." It was extremely hurtful to Jesus's reputation. But then again, the Bible said that Jesus made Himself of no reputation (Phil 2:7, KJV). ESV says "[He] made himself nothing." The Lord, Jesus Christ, made himself nothing, threw away His reputation, and with all the love and tenderness of the best big Brother ever, saw His little brothers and sisters suffering and dying around Him and said, "No. Take me instead." He saw us in the filth of our own sin, and rescued us from it, before being buried in it on the cross.

I'd say scandalous, while not a word I would have used at first, is definitely appropriate.

As for beautiful...

having beauty; wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying

Having beauty... I'd say so... There is something incredibly beautiful in dying for loved ones or for an ideal. Wonderful... I'd say. The Son of God dying for the sins of man... Wonderful doesn't seem enough. It's amazing. It's unbelievable, really. I hate to say it, but I don't think I'd want to die for some rapist or something in prison. But what Christ did was even more amazing than that. He was holy. I could never be holy. But I think I'm too good to die for someone who seems worse than me to my way of thinking. Jesus knew that He was too good for us. That's why He died. Very pleasing or satisfying... Well, the death of Christ brought great satisfaction to God's holiness and inability to see us for our sin. It was pleasing to the Father to see the Son carry out His plan of salvation for His people. Which, by the way, was incredible in and of itself. I just said I wouldn't die for a rapist. Jesus, as I said, did more than that. But God did a huge thing, too. Sacrificing His Son, His beloved Son in Whom He was well pleased. Like I said, I wouldn't die for a rapist. And I sure as heck wouldn't send any of my gorgeous nephews, Trent, Bryson, and Garrett, to die for a rapist. I can't even imagine a holy God sending His holy Son to die for a depraved world. But that's what happened.

So, yes. Beautiful and Scandalous it was. A mystery I'll never understand.

And a joy for which I am forever thankful.

Boredom Sets In

So, I'm sitting in stats class listening to a review of yesterday's class. I already took all these notes, so that's a bit boring to me.

So anyway....

I'm really excited to get back to Y-Town for some reasons.

1. Living with my mommy and sister... It's both free, and great, because they're awesome.
2. Getting away from Pine St. Starbucks for a while. Hopefully making much better tips. lol.
3. Getting to see my daddy a bit more often.
4. JERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am LOVING going through TrueFaced with Jerica. I mean, that book is bringing some much-needed truth into my life. Which I need so much. It's awesome to me that God brought such an awesome person in my life to be my disciple-ee/accountability partner. A person who I have so much in common with that sometimes, I see my own strengths and shortcomings just by being with her! God is so good!

I'm really going to miss Megan a lot. I barely knew her before I moved in with her. And now, I can honestly say she's one of my dearest friends. She has been so much fun. But I am way excited that she will be my reason to go hang out in Charlotte. lol. I can't wait.

This past school year flew by. On June 30th, I will become a non-teenager, too, which is insane to me. Not that the 20th birthday is known for a great deal of excitement, but still. Not being a teenager is cool, because then I'm not included when people say things like, "stupid teenage drivers" and stuff. :)

K, well, I gotta go. Later.

Following the Crowd...

So, since tons of my friends have blogs, and are very cool about writing in them, I decided that I will try.

Wish me luck, ladies and gents.

Anyways. This summer has gotten off to a slow start, since I'm still in school, Maymestering it up for the sake of stinking statistics. I'm definitely doing much better in the class this go round, however. Making me think that the statistical probability of my passing is probably a good thing.

If there's one thing I'll miss at the end of May when I return again to the slow-going ways of Y-town, it will be Hope Point. The church is so awesome. Richard is an AMAZING pastor, and the worship band rocks my world. Not that Filbert isn't awesome, too. I love it there, and Wallace is great, and so are the choir and Rebecca, but Hope Point truly feels like home. I honestly feel so called to be there.

I've really missed the lack of Cru and Worship Team these past few weeks, too, but Larry and I might meet up and sing a bit at some point during the end of the month hassle.

I also miss Candice. She's rocking C. Asia, and I'm so happy for her. Doesn't change that I miss her.

But now, if I want to pass stats, what is the confidence level for the statistical probability that it will work better if I sleep more? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Lol.

Translation, it's beddie bye time. So I can get up and be a happy refreshed statistics student, looking way forward to finding the Student's T-Score! :D

Goodnight, all.

Sweet dreams, and in the words of Bryan, Don't let the bedbugs gnaw your face off.