From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
album: United We Stand (2006)
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you
control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above
all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you
control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You
praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
So, yeah... we sang that one at Hope Point this past Sunday. Johnny sang it, by the way, which was awesome, b/c I don't know if I've ever paid attention to his voice before, since he usually sings harmony parts and stuff. His voice is awesome. Seriously awesome.
Anyways, this song to me is an amazing prayer... And when I sing it, I feel like I can't get close enough to heaven... I just wanna raise my hands and jump and... it feels like my heart is going to burst from the joy of knowing that God is so flipping amazing. Basically, it's like Josh said right after we sang it... I just wanna jump out of my shoes! I was talking to my dad last night about how God forgives sin no matter what it may be. But as I sat there, all I could think of was that not only is He a forgiver, He is everything. There are so many facets to his personality that I will NEVER know him fully. and that's OK. I'm not meant to. As Larry and I discussed at some point, if we ever fully knew God, we would be destroyed. Not even a man like Moses, one of the OT "heavyweights" was allowed to see God in all His glory and splendor. It would have killed him on the spot! What makes us think that we deserve to see all of that glory more than Moses did?
But the deep desire to be known and consumed from the inside out by someone else... What a beautiful picture of love? To really know every single thing about a person, and love them despite their worst mistakes and deepest sins is a beautiful love. It's also a beautiful vulnerability to ask someone to know you that deeply. And to ask God is even better, because you are being vulnerable with someone who loves you more than anything and will NEVER hurt you. Pretty sweet, huh?
Another part that never fails to get to me... "Your will above all else./My purpose remains/The art of losing myself/In bringing You praise." It reminds me of Central Asia and how we learned just how important dying to self is to our acts of worship and love of our Creator and our brothers and sisters. I want to be so purposeful. I want my life to be about losing myself in bringing praise to the God Who made me and loves me more than anything. How awesome would that be to finally come to a place where I don't care anymore about my desires or what I "want" so much as being totally wrapped up and lost in the glory and praise of God? How freakin' incredible? It's so difficult to wrap my mind around. It's so much easier just to do the things that I want to do... To goof around on Facebook for hours, or to watch TV, or to catch those few extra hours of sleep. Why can I not find that desire in my heart? I want to want it. That's something else I've discussed with friends lately. I want to want to do the right thing. But I don't. Oh, for the grace of God to want what's right instead of only to want to want it. (Did that confuse you? I think it confused me.)
This song brings me to a lot of things, but the greatest is that concept... What God is... Who God is... Saweet.
- God is the ultimate Father... He will never leave or forsake His children. He disciplines them when necessary, but only out of deepest love and concern for their well being. He never treats them as stupid, but as beloved in His sight. The apple of His eye.
- God (Jesus) is the ultimate Big Brother. He never picks on His little brothers and sisters, but rescues them from trouble of their own making, and dies to keep them from suffering.
- God is the ultimate Lover. He knows us deeply, intimately, personally, in such a private way that even an earthly husband or wife could never know us that deeply. I don't know how that is for guys to think of God that way. I mean, it's kind of odd, I guess, since Jesus was a man and all. But at least, for me as a woman, it's amazing to think of someone who knows me like that and loves me no matter what!
- God is the ultimate Hero. He rescues us from the pits of our own sin, the great monsters/villains of life. He flies in, like a Super-Superman, and rescues us. Added bonus? With God as your superhero, there is no tragic/whatever flaw... There is no Kryptonite that renders Him helpless. There is no weakness. Pretty sweet.
- God is the ultimate King. There was a time when being King meant you could do whatever you wanted to without worry of being challenged. Think Henry VIII cutting off his wives' heads left and right. Punk. But anyway. This is not the kind of monarchy that they have in England now. God is no figurehead. He is the ruler of the universe. He answers to no one, and everyone will one day answer to Him. But the beauty is that He uses this unlimited power to become a man and die for the poorest of the poor, the dirtiest of the dirty, the most sinful of the sinners. Us. We are those people. He died to make us into saints. I can't even imagine that. But He still rules the world. He parts seas, He calms storms... Nothing is beyond His hand of control. And that, my friends, is amazing.
So in the end, I am again amazed by the God I serve. Yay for worship music reminding me just how awesome and great He really is. How incredible He is, and how beautiful it is to be known, loved, consumed and controlled by the most amazing God EVER!
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